“A young IT professional commits suicide in New Jersey”

While watching yesterday’s news, this very small news line flashed across the screen for a few seconds. I went through the whole news on the web and I was shocked to find that he had lost his mental balance after losing his job as an IT professional. He had become a loner homeless after losing his job. It set me thinking how much a job could matter to a person. What sort of people are we raising these days? No doubt people these days have vast amount of knowledge(read information), high paying jobs and a glamorous life. But what beyond that? What about moral values, family values, perseverance, tolerance and contentment? Can't we raise people who feel safe and secure with the thought of a family? Why did this person not feel safe and confident enough to go back to the family in times of distress?

Since I too am from the IT background I can very well understand the amount of stress this job involves. But this stress mostly leads to an unhealthy competition and extravagant ambitions. More than our own capabilities we are concerned about what ‘others’ are not so good at. More than what promotions and ‘hikes’ WE get, we are concerned about how much other person has got. Those great values of working hard and being content with what we are getting have long been lost. We get stressed with others’ achievements. It is always about others and never about us. Also, I used to see that come appraisal time and people are bothered about how others are being appraised and focussing less on our own shortcomings.

Not only in IT but in this whole mad world things are moving in this direction. Who has the latest mobiles and gadgets, who's spending more on lavishness, even if it is not required as an individual for the self , everything turns out to be a mad race. I for one as a housewife don’t need a mobile for more than making and receiving calls and maximum to set a wake-up alarm. But I have seen housewives going mad for the latest ‘Iphone’. And when we ourselves, as parents, are not content with our fate and running madly after materialism I don’t think our children are ever going to get even a glimpse of contentment. I strongly believe that happiness can come from only contentment. Being content does not mean that we stop striving for betterment. Man cannot progress without challenges and higher goals, but we have to be very careful whence it takes a toll on our lives too.

Rebirth of a night dress!

One day my son Vishnu (5) asked me, "Mum, what hapepns when a person dies?". I said, "he has a soul which goes to God and his dead body is burnt here on earth." He again asked me, "what happens to the soul and what is a soul?". I tried explaining to him in easiest words I could find, what is a soul. Then I said the soul again takes a body depending on its good or bad deeds and becomes a baby on earth. Then again that baby grows, becomes old and dies. He claimed that he understood it all.

After a few weeks, one night I asked him to change into his night suit. And as it is 100 on 100 times he wore a night suit which is of his sister's size who is 2 years old. I always ask him not to do that. But this particular night also he wore that same night dress. In a fit of anger I said,"next time if I see you wearing this night dress, I am going to burn it." He said, "ok fine. then it will become a small baby and start growing up."

It took me a while to connect both the incidents and understand his logic behind this. But when I did, I couldn't stop laughing. It's really wonderful how kids can apply logics to all situations.

माँ के घर से माँ बनने तक का सफर

While on vaccation we went to Oxford for a day. I stood in awe of the colleges there. Normally when I see any world famous colleges, the first thing I wish is to get a chance to study there. But seeing Oxford the first thing that came to my mind was I hope my children can some day study here. This thought made me think about the changes in me and inspired me to write this. I hope all can enjoy it;-)


आज तय कर आई हूँ वो एक लम्बा सा सफर,
जब मैं माँ बनी छोड़ अपनी माँ का घर.
मैया और बाबुल मानो जैसे गंगा नहाए,
कन्या का दान करके मुझे विदा कर आये.

पहले उड़ती फिरती थी तितली मैं नादान,
आज रखूँ पिया के कुल का मैं मान.

रीतियों को रुढ़ियां मैं कहती थी,
बागी हो आधुनिकता की धारा में बहती थी.
रुढ़िवादिता से अब आ गई मुझको रीतियाँ,
घर चलाने की मैं भी खूब सीख गयी नीतियाँ.

कन्या से कुमारी बनी, कुमारी से बनी ब्याहता,
सोचा, संसार पूरा कर दिया तूने विधाता.
विधाता की माया न कभी कोई जान पाया,
रोता बिलखता नन्हा एक मेरी आँखों का तारा आया.

माँ बनकर तो मेरी दुनिया ही जैसे बदल गयी,
होश गंवाकर कलह मचाकर फिर मैं संभल गयी.
समय ने एक माँ का कर्तव्य भी मुझे सिखा दिया,
मेरी माँ का तप और जप भी मुझे दिखा दिया.

पहले लगता था जैसे मुट्ठी में दुनिया हमारी थी,
अपना मुकाम, अपनी खुशियाँ ही बस हमको प्यारी थीं.
अब तो दुनिया, अब तो मंजिलें बस बच्चों की हो गयी हैं,
उनका चरित्र, उनकी खुशियाँ ही हमको प्यारी हो गयी हैं.

ऊंची शिक्षा, ज्ञान विज्ञान पहले खूब लुभाता था,
नयी खोज, नयी राह, नयी सोच से मन उकसाता था.
ऑक्सफोर्ड विश्व विद्यालय देख कर मन आनंद से भर आया,
बस बच्चे ऊंची शिक्षा प्राप्त करें, अब ये विचार घर आया.

प्रभु, अब तो चारित्र्यवान बच्चों से ही संसार मेरा महकता रहे,
उनकी प्रगति देखकर ही मन का पंछी चहकता रहे.

After a long gap I'm back!!

We went for a holiday tour of 4 days on the long weekend of Easter. Just a couple of days ago my both the kids were so sick that till the last moment we were double minded whether to go or cancel the trip. Finally we decided to go. I took along all the paediatric medicines I could. By God’s grace all went well. I didn’t require any medicines at all. Children enjoyed the trip too. We hired a car and my husband drove it. We were just the four of us. Initially we were a bit apprehensive on being alone with kids and that too in a foreign land. But as the trip progressed our fears also receded.

Throughout the trip my daughter aged two slept in the whole of car ride. During sight seeing she was full active and craving for attention. The museums seemed boring to her and so it was her right to not let anyone else see it. My son aged 5 was interested only in natural history museums where dinosaurs, reptiles and all the creepy creatures were ready to pounce upon us. I was interested more in art and history of that place. So all three of us had different tastes and priorities. My poor husband couldn’t even tell his priority as he was trying to create a balance between everyone’s needs.

For outdoor sight seeing the weather played a villain. It was too cold. My children were enjoying outdoors in spite of cold. That was the only place where they felt free.

In one particular palace called Royal Pavillion in Brighton, my little daughter Garima refused to acknowledge any restrictions. She strolled free out of her stroller and ventured into the castle.
There were these particular antiques of the 17th and 18th century just for looking and strictly not for touching. They had been protected by thick ropes so that visitors maintained a distance with them. Garima’s innocent mind would know no boundaries. She crossed the rope and in she went. Immediately alarms started sounding throughout the whole castle. Because of the hugeness and enormity of the building it reverberated loudly and immediately the walkie-talkies of all the security guards there, crackled with voices. We were so stunned by the spontaneity of the situation that for a few seconds we just stood and watched. Then it clicked us that we must get her out. My husband brought her out and tied her securely to the stroller, vowing never to release her in the confines of the building. We felt quite embarrassed and apologised to the security guards. One of them in particular said, “No problem, It keeps me awake!”.

My Son's strong will!!

I really wanted to put down this small incident which fills me with pride for my son.

We are a vegetarian family and normally don't eat eggs. But I in particular am not able to resist cakes and sweets even if they have eggs. My husband does not even eat biscuits and cakes with eggs. He does not want my children also to eat them. I respect his decision and so I don't usually bring such things in the house. I relish them at friends' homes or at parties. Very rarely I bring readymade cakes at home but don't offer to children. My son is extremely fond of cakes and so I make eggless cakes for him at home itself.

Yesterday a friend had come to my home for lunch. She knew that I like cakes a lot so she brought a readymade cake for me. When Vishnu came home she offered the cake to Vishnu. He did not take it. She kept on pestering him,"the cake is tasty. Why are you not eating it…". I said that he will not eat it because he knows that his Dad doesn't want him to eat eggs. She said she wants to hear him tell the reason. After being insisted upon so much he said that he will not eat a cake with eggs. Another friend said that it does not have eggs. She asked him if he could see any eggs in the cake. He said no, but that he knows eggs are put in after "grinding". This was really amazing that though he likes cakes a lot he did not eat it. The whole day cake was lying on the table and he did not once look at it or ask for it.

A few months ago at another friend's house he was sulking for the readymade cake. He was crying horribly and we had to give him that cake. That was the day when his Dad had a talk with him. So to test him further I reminded him of that day and asked him that why did he eat that egg cake then. Feeling a little embarrassed he said that he feels sorry for that. I am really amazed with this boy. He could have been easily tempted as his mother, meaning I was eating. Nor did he once question me that why was I eating it when Dad didn't appreciate it. I was really surprised by the strong resolution he showed.

I thank my stars for having this child. I only hope that I can nurture him properly and he gets a good direction in life. The hardest part of raising the kids, I feel, is to imbibe in them the courage to choose between right and wrong. Being able to identify right from wrong is one step and the next difficult step is to choose the right option after identifying it. If the children can do that, I think character, career, money, name and fame follows automatically. May God be with all of us!!

Friends Are Forever!!

Today I want to dedicate this writing space to my friends. Friends who came and went at the right times…..friends who taught and showed selfless love, undemanding care and who helped me become a better person. Why suddenly about friends? Well what always triggers me to write is an emotional outburst when any unusual incident takes place.

I came to Ipswich and met lots of people of different types. But as is with nature, the ones who touched a cord in my heart were people like me. One of them was a girl I came to like immensely. I came to enjoy her company in just a couple of meetings. It was so easy to talk to her on any topic of the world. You talk to her about politics, history, mythology, religion, culture, journalism(one of her favourite topics), cooking, household, career, kids, husband, in-laws and the list could go on and on. She seems to listen to me patiently. She can express her views very clearly and confidently. It is not at all necessary to come to an agreement on any topic. She also takes another person’s argument very positively. She is very keen to accept new ideas and views. I never need to explain to her what was meant to be a humour and what was to be taken seriously. I sometimes feel that she is a better listener than me. But the saddest part is that she is shifting from here and I feel a kind of emptiness now.

It is so amazing how we can come to like some people so dearly without any inhibitions. We can just be ourselves with some people, without having to sit on guard to defend ourselves. What we always look in a relationship or friendship is the security of not being hurt. When we strike a cord with a person then we feel so safe and comfortable with that person. Such relationships are easy to make when we are young. Because children and teens are usually without any defences. They are very transparent and selfless. It is so easy to share each others’ very personal things, belongings and emotions at a young age, but as we grow older we tend to become more formal and rigid.

Friends are there to comfort you without demanding anything in return. They never even suspect your motives or intentons. They take you at your face value with great simplicity and lovingness. But when we grow older and “wiser” we begin analysing everyone’s behaviour. We begin suspecting everyone’s intentions. We lose the innocence of childhood. We tend to hurt all our well wishers because we make our thought process so complicated that we cannot even identify them.

I have lost touch with many of my school and college friends. I am in touch with some but we all are so caught up in our lives that it is ages before we catch up with each other. But there are a few friends to whom I don’t have to think twice before talking or writing. They are always there for me and I am always there for them.

I wish I could find more friends like my old golden days. I wish I can be simple and innocent where reaching out to people becomes very easy and smooth. Friends enrich our lives and make it colourful. May God bless all with good friends!

Another poem for my daughter!!

It is one of the poems I wrote for my daughter. It was in series to my earlier poem itself and feel that I should put it down for long keep. Date of creation----24th December, 2005 Saturday


मेरे भरे पूरे घर में इश्वर ने बना दिया इक झरोखा,

उसमें से इक नरम रेशमी किरण का आगमन होगा.

वो किरण मेरी बिटिया तुम ही होंगी,

मेरी सारी अधूरी आसें अब पूरी होंगी.


सोचती हूँ मैं की इस नन्ही परी की क्या अच्छी माँ बन पाऊँगी

इस जग में भरे सय्यादों से कैसे तुम्हें बचाऊंगी?

प्रभु मुझे धैर्य और हिम्मत प्रदान करें,

अपना संसार तुम खुद रचो ऐसा प्रावधान करें.


तुम्हारा सलोना मुखड़ा जाने कैसा होगा?

चन्दा से उधार लिया इक टुकड़ा, ऐसा होगा.


तुम्हारे दो नैनों में जाने कितने ही अनुराग होंगे,

मेरा जीवन रोशन कर दें ऐसे दो चिराग होंगे.


सतरंगी सी इक छोटी मुस्कान तुम्हारी,

इन्द्रधनुष सी हो जायेगी ज़िन्दगी हमारी.


कर्म स्त्रोत दो कोमल से हाथ तुम्हारे,

जाने मेरे गालों को छूकर लगेंगे कितने प्यारे?


उन्नति के पथ पर ले जाएँ ये दो नन्हें कदम तुम्हारे,

कर्तित्व और विवेक रहें सदा हमदम तुम्हारे.


माँ का आँचल और पिता का साया,

तुम्हारे स्वागत में है हमने पलकों को बिछाया.