I Am Free!!

It is for the first time since ages that I feel free. I have the time to pursue my interests without worrying about any other factors. Earlier what used to worry me most was what other people are thinking of me. This led me to live a life as a prisoner of my self. I don’t blame anyone for this state of mine, but only myself. The biggest mistake I made was to make some rosy picture about life and then keep on struggling to achieve it. Today also no one else has set me free, but myself.

I was living in a vicious cycle of setting very high ideals, then trying to achieve them, then lacking in some of them, then thinking I am a failure, and getting depressed. All this resulted in me remaining always frustrated and depressed. The ones who were being harmed most were myself and my family. The ones I love the most suffered the most. All this is because I could not break myself free from this cycle. But now I feel that doing what I feel passionate about is more important. Not that anyone else was stopping me from doing it but I was a prisoner of my own thoughts. The hurdles are all in the mind.

There were a few things that helped me think straight.

• Look back and see life up to at least ten years back from here. The question less important is; have I achieved what I wanted? But more important to ask is have I enjoyed what I did to reach here?
• Have I did in the last 10 years , what I have always wanted to do? Like read my favourite authors, watched my favourite shows, had discussions on my favourite topics and made some very good new friends; like the ones I had in school and college time.
• Have I met people who inspire me the most? Have I met people who have filled me with energy whenever I see them and listen to them? Do I know everything about what is going on in those peoples’ lives? I believe that not meeting the people of my kind is not fate but my lack of attitude.
  

I hope this freedom remains with me and I don’t let myself be a captive of my vicious thoughts again!!