Forgive and forget!

Today I was having a chat with my friend and she made a statement that she doesn’t forget easily if anyone does any wrong to her. I was wondering if it isn’t the case with all of us! I admire her sincerity and courage that she could openly accept this in front of others. While I have seen people who won’t even admit this to themselves . Why is it so difficult to forget when we are wronged by someone? What good does it do to our own being when we harbour hatred in our hearts?

This topic reminds me of a talk show by Oprah Winfrey. It was all about forgiving and forgetting. There was an elderly couple on the show whose only son had been killed in a motor accident. The driver had been caught and was serving his punishment in prison. Yet this couple could not find peace. Their only hope of life had been taken away; which they could not forget. Day in and day out they were leading a life as bad as hell. Their emotions were a mix of grief, disgust, anger, helplessness and hatred. No amount of sessions at the church or anger management classes helped. Then one particular therapy helped. After this therapy they decided to meet the killer face-to-face in prison. And upon meeting, they said the most difficult and most unexpected three words to him “we forgive you”. After this they were as peaceful as never before.

I feel that when we try to forget any thing wrong done to us, it is actually the beginning of harbouring negative feelings for the wrong doer. We are postponing the revenge for a later date. Whenever similar incident will occur in future or we come face to face with that person again, all the hatred and negative feelings will come to the fore. When we forgive, we let go off all our negativities. When we say that we have forgotten, we actually are thinking that we are doing a favour to the wrong doer. But when we forgive we are doing it for our own self. Forgiving does not mean that we have to buy presents for or have dinner with our wrong doer, it only means that we are getting him/her out of our own system. Forgetting means we are attaching enough value to that person to ruin our life, even in his/her absence. But forgiving means driving him/her out of our whole life. We don’t have to think of that person or of that incident. We just have to carry on with our life as usual. If we forgive from the bottom of our heart we never will even want to talk about it. Believe me, I have known the difference myself, by trying to forgive. Forgiving has given me the control of my life back in my hands. No one else can make me sad when what I deserve is happiness.

Just try it out!!

I Am Free!!

It is for the first time since ages that I feel free. I have the time to pursue my interests without worrying about any other factors. Earlier what used to worry me most was what other people are thinking of me. This led me to live a life as a prisoner of my self. I don’t blame anyone for this state of mine, but only myself. The biggest mistake I made was to make some rosy picture about life and then keep on struggling to achieve it. Today also no one else has set me free, but myself.

I was living in a vicious cycle of setting very high ideals, then trying to achieve them, then lacking in some of them, then thinking I am a failure, and getting depressed. All this resulted in me remaining always frustrated and depressed. The ones who were being harmed most were myself and my family. The ones I love the most suffered the most. All this is because I could not break myself free from this cycle. But now I feel that doing what I feel passionate about is more important. Not that anyone else was stopping me from doing it but I was a prisoner of my own thoughts. The hurdles are all in the mind.

There were a few things that helped me think straight.

• Look back and see life up to at least ten years back from here. The question less important is; have I achieved what I wanted? But more important to ask is have I enjoyed what I did to reach here?
• Have I did in the last 10 years , what I have always wanted to do? Like read my favourite authors, watched my favourite shows, had discussions on my favourite topics and made some very good new friends; like the ones I had in school and college time.
• Have I met people who inspire me the most? Have I met people who have filled me with energy whenever I see them and listen to them? Do I know everything about what is going on in those peoples’ lives? I believe that not meeting the people of my kind is not fate but my lack of attitude.
  

I hope this freedom remains with me and I don’t let myself be a captive of my vicious thoughts again!!

my most creative time

I am not a great writer but I think that if ever there was a creative time in my life then it was the time when I was pregnant with my second child….my sweet little daughter. She is just two years old now and always keeps me on my toes. But when she was an unborn child I was a very happy pregnant mother in the last trimester of my pregnancy. I had only positive thoughts, and nothing negative about anyone entered me. I also had a strong spiritual inclination at that time. Whatever I thought or did was just pure and good. I also had achieved the ability to think clearly (which is long lost now). I am normally an ordinary person. Only as spiritual as anyone else might be and only as good as any normal human being would be. But that best phase of my life I attribute to my then unborn daughter. Though she is not a miracle baby, but for me, at that time she worked wonders. In those days I tried to pen down some of my thoughts in the form of poetry which I am posting here. I had never written before, yet I did a pretty good job I think. Let me know what you think. date of creation---21st December 2005, Wednesday.



एक छोटी सी परी का इंतज़ार है,

उस के लिए दिल में उमंगें हजार हैं.

इश्वर ने जाना है मेरे मन का उतावलापन,

इसलिए तो पूरा किया मेरा संसार है.



छोटी सी गुडिया बनकर महकाना मेरा आँगन तुम,

मेरी दुआओं और अपनी हिम्मत से चूम लेना सारा गगन तुम.

माँ की आँखों की आभा बन जाना तुम,

पापा और भैय्या विष्णु का दुलार पाना तुम.



दादा-दादी, नाना-नानी सब का बनो सदा गर्व तुम,

सर्वस्व को भी पूर्ण कर दो ऐसी हिम्मत रखना तुम.

पापा चाहते बनो तुम खेल सितारा,

भैय्या विष्णु रहे हमेशा सुभद्रा का सहारा.



मझधारों में भी लहरों से न डरना तुम,

साहिल मिल जायेगा, कोशिश करना तुम.

पंख पसार कर ऊंची उड़ान भर लेना तुम,

बुद्धि विवेक रहें तुम में इतना बस कर लेना तुम.



माँ तकती है राह तुम्हारी,

इतने चेहरों में खोजती है सूरत तुम्हारी.

बार बार सोचती हूँ,फिर हंसती हूँ,

क्या तुम होगी छवि हमारी?



मेरा बचपन बीता और आई जवानी,

तुम्हारा बचपन याद दिलायेगा कोई कहानी.

प्रीतम की गलियाँ और प्यार भी निराला है,

पर तुम्हारा आना नया उजाला लाने वाला है.

Some funny and witty questions!!

I got this list of some funny questions in a mail. I found them amusing and at times ticklish too. Thought all could enjoy them.

1. When dog food is new and has improved taste, who tastes it?

2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

4. Can you cry under water?

5. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?

6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

7. Do fish ever get thirsty?

8. Can you get cornered in a round room?

9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

11. What should one call a male ladybird?

12. Why do noses run and feet smell?

13. If everyone is unique, doesn't that make all of us the same?

14. If tomorrow never comes, then why make plans for tomorrow?

My First Post

First of all I would like to take this opportunity to applaud myself on being a woman. Without marriage and children I could have never guessed what it took to be a woman. I believe that women are blessed with a bit extra of everything. A little extra love, a little extra patience, a little extra caring. You name it ….. they have it. I believe women are great at multitasking. They can be mothers, wives, friends, home makers, career women, business women all at one time. I myself was surprised at my multitasking skills that I discovered as my family grew. I plan to use this blog to put down my sweet-sour experiences, challenges, funny moments in all of the above roles. I would also welcome all those out there like me just to make me feel better that I am not alone.

Recently my son joined school after a long Christmas vacation. On the first day itself he had a fight with one of his classmates in which punches and kicks reigned supreme. When I went to pick him up I received a complaint from his teacher. I was upset and resolved to have a nice talk with my son. After pestering him for an hour as to why he had that fight the only excuse he could come up with was that he had forgotten during the vacations that he was not supposed to fight! He also promised me on his own that since the school had reopened, he would now on remember not to fight.