Friends Are Forever!!

Today I want to dedicate this writing space to my friends. Friends who came and went at the right times…..friends who taught and showed selfless love, undemanding care and who helped me become a better person. Why suddenly about friends? Well what always triggers me to write is an emotional outburst when any unusual incident takes place.

I came to Ipswich and met lots of people of different types. But as is with nature, the ones who touched a cord in my heart were people like me. One of them was a girl I came to like immensely. I came to enjoy her company in just a couple of meetings. It was so easy to talk to her on any topic of the world. You talk to her about politics, history, mythology, religion, culture, journalism(one of her favourite topics), cooking, household, career, kids, husband, in-laws and the list could go on and on. She seems to listen to me patiently. She can express her views very clearly and confidently. It is not at all necessary to come to an agreement on any topic. She also takes another person’s argument very positively. She is very keen to accept new ideas and views. I never need to explain to her what was meant to be a humour and what was to be taken seriously. I sometimes feel that she is a better listener than me. But the saddest part is that she is shifting from here and I feel a kind of emptiness now.

It is so amazing how we can come to like some people so dearly without any inhibitions. We can just be ourselves with some people, without having to sit on guard to defend ourselves. What we always look in a relationship or friendship is the security of not being hurt. When we strike a cord with a person then we feel so safe and comfortable with that person. Such relationships are easy to make when we are young. Because children and teens are usually without any defences. They are very transparent and selfless. It is so easy to share each others’ very personal things, belongings and emotions at a young age, but as we grow older we tend to become more formal and rigid.

Friends are there to comfort you without demanding anything in return. They never even suspect your motives or intentons. They take you at your face value with great simplicity and lovingness. But when we grow older and “wiser” we begin analysing everyone’s behaviour. We begin suspecting everyone’s intentions. We lose the innocence of childhood. We tend to hurt all our well wishers because we make our thought process so complicated that we cannot even identify them.

I have lost touch with many of my school and college friends. I am in touch with some but we all are so caught up in our lives that it is ages before we catch up with each other. But there are a few friends to whom I don’t have to think twice before talking or writing. They are always there for me and I am always there for them.

I wish I could find more friends like my old golden days. I wish I can be simple and innocent where reaching out to people becomes very easy and smooth. Friends enrich our lives and make it colourful. May God bless all with good friends!

Another poem for my daughter!!

It is one of the poems I wrote for my daughter. It was in series to my earlier poem itself and feel that I should put it down for long keep. Date of creation----24th December, 2005 Saturday


मेरे भरे पूरे घर में इश्वर ने बना दिया इक झरोखा,

उसमें से इक नरम रेशमी किरण का आगमन होगा.

वो किरण मेरी बिटिया तुम ही होंगी,

मेरी सारी अधूरी आसें अब पूरी होंगी.


सोचती हूँ मैं की इस नन्ही परी की क्या अच्छी माँ बन पाऊँगी

इस जग में भरे सय्यादों से कैसे तुम्हें बचाऊंगी?

प्रभु मुझे धैर्य और हिम्मत प्रदान करें,

अपना संसार तुम खुद रचो ऐसा प्रावधान करें.


तुम्हारा सलोना मुखड़ा जाने कैसा होगा?

चन्दा से उधार लिया इक टुकड़ा, ऐसा होगा.


तुम्हारे दो नैनों में जाने कितने ही अनुराग होंगे,

मेरा जीवन रोशन कर दें ऐसे दो चिराग होंगे.


सतरंगी सी इक छोटी मुस्कान तुम्हारी,

इन्द्रधनुष सी हो जायेगी ज़िन्दगी हमारी.


कर्म स्त्रोत दो कोमल से हाथ तुम्हारे,

जाने मेरे गालों को छूकर लगेंगे कितने प्यारे?


उन्नति के पथ पर ले जाएँ ये दो नन्हें कदम तुम्हारे,

कर्तित्व और विवेक रहें सदा हमदम तुम्हारे.


माँ का आँचल और पिता का साया,

तुम्हारे स्वागत में है हमने पलकों को बिछाया.

Taare Zameen Par!

Today we went to watch a movie Taare Zameen Par by Aamir khan. It is a splendid movie and it moved me a lot. I cried a lot during the movie. It touches a very sensitive issue of dealing with a child. Parents having small children must watch the movie. My friends also tell me how they were affected by the movie. It is the story of a child who is suffering from dyslexia and whose parents are not able to identify his problem.

The way they treated him for his naughty behaviour and disinterest in studies made me cry. Not because I felt they were doing something wrong, but I treat my child similarly very frequently. I am always forcing him to finish his milk, finish his breakfast, eat food and all other things. I think I am struggling with the boy and that my life is going to remain like this always. But what I don’t do is give him space to breathe. I am always trying to fit him into a routine and always wanting to discipline him. I also feel sometimes that I am sacrificing my life and career for him. Which is so mean on my part, to think of it. No one asked me to do it in the first place. It was my choice and I happily chose it for my child. I wanted to enjoy his childhood and my motherhood. I do enjoy these moments but sometimes I fall into a conflict with myself. Some tough moments come when I begin doubting myself.

In the movie, the boys teacher points out that every parent these days wants a high performer. He comments that such parents should breed horses and not have children. Parents are always trying to impose their own ambitions and dreams on their children. With the increasing competitiveness it becomes so difficult for a child to keep pace. They are not allowed to think freely and express freely. We even try to control what the child should say and what he shouldn’t. We feel very proud when our child learns all that we teach him. Like a parrot he repeats all the niceties.

The movie gives a very good message of how children are just like stars on earth or like delicate flowers. Also what caring is. I know people who feel that they care for children when they bring home expensive toys and gifts and lots of books for their children. But what is required is our valuable time for our children.

The movie has reminded me of all the things I do to my so precious child. I knew all these things
but never inculcated them in my behaviour. I hope from now on I can make my child feel very special by letting him be just himself.

Forgive and forget!

Today I was having a chat with my friend and she made a statement that she doesn’t forget easily if anyone does any wrong to her. I was wondering if it isn’t the case with all of us! I admire her sincerity and courage that she could openly accept this in front of others. While I have seen people who won’t even admit this to themselves . Why is it so difficult to forget when we are wronged by someone? What good does it do to our own being when we harbour hatred in our hearts?

This topic reminds me of a talk show by Oprah Winfrey. It was all about forgiving and forgetting. There was an elderly couple on the show whose only son had been killed in a motor accident. The driver had been caught and was serving his punishment in prison. Yet this couple could not find peace. Their only hope of life had been taken away; which they could not forget. Day in and day out they were leading a life as bad as hell. Their emotions were a mix of grief, disgust, anger, helplessness and hatred. No amount of sessions at the church or anger management classes helped. Then one particular therapy helped. After this therapy they decided to meet the killer face-to-face in prison. And upon meeting, they said the most difficult and most unexpected three words to him “we forgive you”. After this they were as peaceful as never before.

I feel that when we try to forget any thing wrong done to us, it is actually the beginning of harbouring negative feelings for the wrong doer. We are postponing the revenge for a later date. Whenever similar incident will occur in future or we come face to face with that person again, all the hatred and negative feelings will come to the fore. When we forgive, we let go off all our negativities. When we say that we have forgotten, we actually are thinking that we are doing a favour to the wrong doer. But when we forgive we are doing it for our own self. Forgiving does not mean that we have to buy presents for or have dinner with our wrong doer, it only means that we are getting him/her out of our own system. Forgetting means we are attaching enough value to that person to ruin our life, even in his/her absence. But forgiving means driving him/her out of our whole life. We don’t have to think of that person or of that incident. We just have to carry on with our life as usual. If we forgive from the bottom of our heart we never will even want to talk about it. Believe me, I have known the difference myself, by trying to forgive. Forgiving has given me the control of my life back in my hands. No one else can make me sad when what I deserve is happiness.

Just try it out!!

I Am Free!!

It is for the first time since ages that I feel free. I have the time to pursue my interests without worrying about any other factors. Earlier what used to worry me most was what other people are thinking of me. This led me to live a life as a prisoner of my self. I don’t blame anyone for this state of mine, but only myself. The biggest mistake I made was to make some rosy picture about life and then keep on struggling to achieve it. Today also no one else has set me free, but myself.

I was living in a vicious cycle of setting very high ideals, then trying to achieve them, then lacking in some of them, then thinking I am a failure, and getting depressed. All this resulted in me remaining always frustrated and depressed. The ones who were being harmed most were myself and my family. The ones I love the most suffered the most. All this is because I could not break myself free from this cycle. But now I feel that doing what I feel passionate about is more important. Not that anyone else was stopping me from doing it but I was a prisoner of my own thoughts. The hurdles are all in the mind.

There were a few things that helped me think straight.

• Look back and see life up to at least ten years back from here. The question less important is; have I achieved what I wanted? But more important to ask is have I enjoyed what I did to reach here?
• Have I did in the last 10 years , what I have always wanted to do? Like read my favourite authors, watched my favourite shows, had discussions on my favourite topics and made some very good new friends; like the ones I had in school and college time.
• Have I met people who inspire me the most? Have I met people who have filled me with energy whenever I see them and listen to them? Do I know everything about what is going on in those peoples’ lives? I believe that not meeting the people of my kind is not fate but my lack of attitude.
  

I hope this freedom remains with me and I don’t let myself be a captive of my vicious thoughts again!!

my most creative time

I am not a great writer but I think that if ever there was a creative time in my life then it was the time when I was pregnant with my second child….my sweet little daughter. She is just two years old now and always keeps me on my toes. But when she was an unborn child I was a very happy pregnant mother in the last trimester of my pregnancy. I had only positive thoughts, and nothing negative about anyone entered me. I also had a strong spiritual inclination at that time. Whatever I thought or did was just pure and good. I also had achieved the ability to think clearly (which is long lost now). I am normally an ordinary person. Only as spiritual as anyone else might be and only as good as any normal human being would be. But that best phase of my life I attribute to my then unborn daughter. Though she is not a miracle baby, but for me, at that time she worked wonders. In those days I tried to pen down some of my thoughts in the form of poetry which I am posting here. I had never written before, yet I did a pretty good job I think. Let me know what you think. date of creation---21st December 2005, Wednesday.



एक छोटी सी परी का इंतज़ार है,

उस के लिए दिल में उमंगें हजार हैं.

इश्वर ने जाना है मेरे मन का उतावलापन,

इसलिए तो पूरा किया मेरा संसार है.



छोटी सी गुडिया बनकर महकाना मेरा आँगन तुम,

मेरी दुआओं और अपनी हिम्मत से चूम लेना सारा गगन तुम.

माँ की आँखों की आभा बन जाना तुम,

पापा और भैय्या विष्णु का दुलार पाना तुम.



दादा-दादी, नाना-नानी सब का बनो सदा गर्व तुम,

सर्वस्व को भी पूर्ण कर दो ऐसी हिम्मत रखना तुम.

पापा चाहते बनो तुम खेल सितारा,

भैय्या विष्णु रहे हमेशा सुभद्रा का सहारा.



मझधारों में भी लहरों से न डरना तुम,

साहिल मिल जायेगा, कोशिश करना तुम.

पंख पसार कर ऊंची उड़ान भर लेना तुम,

बुद्धि विवेक रहें तुम में इतना बस कर लेना तुम.



माँ तकती है राह तुम्हारी,

इतने चेहरों में खोजती है सूरत तुम्हारी.

बार बार सोचती हूँ,फिर हंसती हूँ,

क्या तुम होगी छवि हमारी?



मेरा बचपन बीता और आई जवानी,

तुम्हारा बचपन याद दिलायेगा कोई कहानी.

प्रीतम की गलियाँ और प्यार भी निराला है,

पर तुम्हारा आना नया उजाला लाने वाला है.

Some funny and witty questions!!

I got this list of some funny questions in a mail. I found them amusing and at times ticklish too. Thought all could enjoy them.

1. When dog food is new and has improved taste, who tastes it?

2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

4. Can you cry under water?

5. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?

6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

7. Do fish ever get thirsty?

8. Can you get cornered in a round room?

9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

11. What should one call a male ladybird?

12. Why do noses run and feet smell?

13. If everyone is unique, doesn't that make all of us the same?

14. If tomorrow never comes, then why make plans for tomorrow?